Saudi Arabia orders skirt-wearing girl to become fat

Saudi Arabia was shocked to the core by a video of a girl wearing a short skirt without the obligatory leggings underneath it. The official state of of Islam(TM) deplored and abhorred the video that showed that which should not be shown in public, unless you’re a royal family member spending some time outside the Saudi Kingdom. The authorities response was fast and decisive, the pretty girl was ordered by the Rightthink committee to become fat and live the rest of her life a fatty fat cow as punishment for daring to be something beautiful in the land of magical stones and corpses that don’t decompose.

Saudi Arabia has been taking slow but steady steps towards women’s, highly debatable, rights. Yet still, females can’t drive, an issue that has been facing international rage. The Saudis are listening though. The Rightthink committee has presented the King with some solutions that may allow women to finally drive their luxurious cars. One suggestion addresses the biggest problem with women driving -genital stimulation resulting from motor vibrations- and sees female genital mutilation becoming mandatory for any girl wanting to drive. “We are really blowing up two birds with one explosive belt, women will be able to drive, and without succumbing to the need to have sex, ever, no matter how great the stimulation is,” said Karaman Bandooch of the Rightthink committee.

Do you think Saudi Arabia is on the right track? Keep your opinion to yourself.

 

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