The billions of dollars and twenty years invested in commercial biology have finally come to fruition, Dubai’s Jurassic Park opens its doors for visitors today. The park, located in the rainforest of the underwater Laurn Hotel, can accommodate up to 560 dinosaurs and 1089 visitors at any given time and will feature a petting zoo with friendly, docile dinosaurs. Taking cues from the movies, the park will not contain any dinosaur bigger than an average elephant or any animal with problem-solving skills, “they’re basically mentally retarded ancient reptiles, we’re going for cute and cuddly, we know our limits” Park Director Sheikh Gabar Abdul-Gabar Gabar Al-Thaleth told ADC news.

On the possibility of selling pet dinosaurs, Gabar said exotic animals are currently banned as pets but the court is yet to decide whether our dinosaurs are exotic. Citizens of Dubai were recently deprived of the right to own an exotic animal, such as lions and cheetahs, hopefully pet dinosaurs will be allowed.

On the other side of the Laurn Hotel, particularly at the Ministry of Religious Matters, the park was met with opposition from some Sheiks who view it as “messing with God’s creatures”, to which Gabar replied, “we are not messing with God’s work, just taking some tools from his old box and having some fun with them.”

The park is open on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays from 5 to 5.

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