Egypt, January 28 – All those who have been killed, injured, or suffered losses resulting from property damage and acts of terrorism will be fully indemnified after the Muslim Brotherhood has regained Egypt’s throne, Brotherhood officials vowed via Twitter on Wednesday from their headquarters in Qatar, Turkey, England, and the United States.

The Brotherhood has been carrying out and funding bomb-planting and attacks on police officers and residents of various areas since they were overthrown in 2013. Brotherhood elements have also been instigating attacks on policemen and army soldiers through AlJazeera and sister channels.

When asked how they will atone for the dead, Brotherhood officials said their organization’s Department of Sorcery and Magic Works has finally perfected the resurrection formula.

“Why do you think we’re doing what we’re doing [killing and violence]? It’s because we love Egyptians of course, we want to free those honorable people from the murderous dictator they elected with a sweeping majority under the influence of media brainwashing and clandestine military paranormal tactics.” Brotherhood officials said in a post on Facebook earlier today.

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