Back home, my castle of silence, I put my keys and cigarettes on a small table by the door and turn the lights on. It’s 3:20 AM, I can feel him around. I play random episodes from The Office to distract myself but his presence grows stronger, he’s here. He begins his little game, a sharp knife manifests before my eyes with the word “femoral” written on the handle. I turn the volume up and out of the blue I hear a gunshot, and there it is, a revolver is sitting next to me on the couch, “in the mouth” written on a piece of paper under it.
During my first encounter with him I shat my pants, now it’s just an annoying routine, every week or so, my doppelgänger tries to talk me into committing suicide, he wants my body, he says I’m pathetic and deserve to die, I tell him to go fuck himself. To show my seriousness, I bought him a nice dildo and left it in the bathroom, “this goes in your ass,” the paper under the dildo said.
On my bed I find more than a dozen Tramadol Hydrochloride 225 pills with the message “sweet dreams” written in red. “Dude, the dildo is in the bathroom, use it,” I yell through Xanax and Prozac, I know he can hear me somehow, every now and then I hear whispering and chuckling, it used to terrify the crap out of me.
He comes to me in my dream dressed as a hipster, to prove he’s cooler than me, but in fact, my heart almost stopped from laughing on seeing him. We sat at a cafe downtown Cairo, I don’t know if he controlled my dream or had just leapt into mine. Like a broken record, he stated his sad old plea again, your existence is miserable, I need your body, bla bla bla. I finished my tea, took one look at him and left.
I work at a news agency, sometimes I have shifts that start at 5 AM, it sucks but I need the experience.
At 3:45 my alarm ravished the silence and ended my second dream, I was helping mom move some boxes. He appeared to me in a portrait of Vivaldi hanging on my bedroom wall, I was putting my socks on.
– Listen, I have seen your life, after two failed marriages you will live alone for 30 years then die. I need to collect your body so I can get on with mine, I have a lover and a nice home waiting for me in the underworld.
– Bullshit, you don’t know anything, you’re a moronic demon messing with me, and I will rid you…..I will
– My energy drains fast when I’m communicating verbally with you, today you will get in a fight with your boss, consider this a prescient affirmation of what I have just said
It appeared that the fucker had been right, Mrs. Dana, my 50 something chief editor, was off her saggy tits, she was looking for a fight. The moment our eyes locked she telepathically said “don’t you fucking dare push me.” Message received.
– There are two news articles on your desk, I want ’em yesterday
-You got it
I made sure the articles were translated and edited flawlessly, this eased her a bit. With the knowledge of a potential quarrel, I took extra care not to provoke her, the day passed almost as smoothly as any other day.
Back home the little fucker was in a furious tantrum inside a little snow globe of Paris.
-How on god’s green Earth did that happen?
-Have you heard of quantum physics, you pathetic imbecile?
I put a small towel on the globe and sat in Vivaldi’s Winter.